It's sooooo hot...

Let me start by saying this could be one of the most revealing blog entries I've ever made. That probably isn't saying much in the midst of such wonders as I Hate Exercise and movie reviews, so don't get too terribly hyped up.

Anyway, I feel like a large part of my life has been spent listening to the radio antics of John Boy & Billy, a couple of deejays who have now made it pretty big. They got started together in Charlotte, NC, way back when I was a young kid and I've been listening to them on and off ever since. Some of the more memorable moments in my life have come while listening to them, in fact. Nothing terribly earth shattering or huge, mind you, but things that just stick with you. Like when Davey Allison died, for instance. JB&B were getting pretty big into NASCAR at the time and I think were actually good friends with Davey, so the morning after his helicopter crash was a pretty tough morning for them. I truly felt their pain. The odd part is these guys are comedians, and you don't tune in to them if you want something serious. Yet that day was all serious, all pain, and I couldn't imagine listening to anything else.

What I'm really here to blog about is much less serious, though. Another one of those experiences I shared with them was an actual experience I had being on the air as a contest caller. On Friday's they've often abandoned their usual contests for interesting twists on the normal stuff or even just one-off random contests. One such Friday happened to land during the summer when I was working in Charlotte and living with my parents during college. My morning routine was to get up, turn on the radio to JB&B, and get in the shower. While I was finishing up in the shower they announced that thanks to the amazing heat wave we had been experiencing, this day they would let callers air their best original "it's so hot" joke and pick the best one to give a prize to. Hmmph. I didn't have an original "it's so hot" joke, but one occurred to me. That's like .0001% of the battle, though, because only like a bajillion rednecks call in to JB&B for every single contest. But I called anyway.

And the phone started ringing! Oh. My. God. It was really ringing. I can't say for sure, but that may have been the first time I ever got through to a radio contest. Might have been the only time, too, for that matter. I had the radio on, but had my finger on the volume knob at the ready so that if they answered I could turn it down immediately so as not to be one of those idiots that causes the big echo and they have to yell at to "turn down your radio!" So they come back from the commercial break and take a caller. I don't recall the joke, but it was really lame. They chuckle politely and take the next caller. Again, another really lame joke. Then my phone picks up and they are talking to me! I hit the volume on my radio perfectly and they ask who I am and where I'm from. Then they ask for my joke. So without further ado...

It's so hot, I saw a dog lift his leg and steam came out.

For that I got a very good chuckle from the guys. Not to toot my own horn, but it was much better than the first two callers. They almost awarded me the prize but decided to take one more caller. I still felt pretty good about my chances, until...

They asked the caller what his name was and what he did. I don't remember the name, but I do recall what he did. He was and employee of one of the big NASCAR race shops near town. "Oh, are you back at the shop", they asked. They asked this because it was a race weekend, so by Friday morning the teams are all typically off at the track. "Yeah, I don't get to travel with the team...I have to stay behind and work here." "Awwwwww." Yeah, that's right, he played the sympathy card! So then they bantered a little about his team and driver and finally asked for his joke. And what they got was:

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they was both walkin'.

When I heard that, I knew I was golden. In his defense, this guy's joke was better than the first two they took. Yeah, those were THAT bad. But I really didn't think he held a candle to me. I was still on hold, and they put him on hold. Then they bantered about should it go to "steam dog" or "dog chasing a cat." Ultimately they felt sorry for the poor sap "stuck back at the shop" and gave it to him. As disappointed as I was, I never held a grudge. I mean NASCAR fans were and still are their bread and butter, and I almost felt bad for the guy, too. But I still say my joke was way better!

Oh, and if you see Goober, tell him I said "duh-huh." He'll know what you mean.