I hate fitted sheets.

I hate fitted sheets. Seriously. It has nothing to do with their "performance in the bedroom", though. It has everything to do with my own inadequacy.

But not inadequacy in the bedroom, my inadequacy in the laundry room. I've always been a pretty decent performer in the laundry room, I thought. Being raised mostly by a single father will do that, though. You want clean stuff? You pretty much gotta do it yourself. While I think I had clean sheets, I can't remember ever learning how to fold a fitted sheet. Maybe I always washed and replaced the same day, so folding didn't matter. That was probably it.

Even now, I do almost all of my own laundry. Well, my own clothes, anyway. And I really do try to help around the house, which means doing some other general laundry from time to time. Okay, let's face it, I don't go looking for other laundry to do, but sometimes it is in the way of me doing my laundry. I pretty much wait until I gotta do laundry or I'll have nothing to wear, though, so that means when something is in the way you gotta get it out of the way.

Now, while that's a bit slob-like, I'm not a complete slob. A complete slob would take whatever was in the way and maybe throw it in a basket. Or worse, on the floor. No, I at least fold it and put it neatly in a basket (here, I think maybe actually putting things away since they are clean would be best, but since I rarely even know where they go, I'll do the smart thing and just fold). But I've noticed my wife has this cute way of folding a fitted sheet so it comes out looking like a folded sheet. I've watched this method closely. I've had her talk me through it. I've done it in her presence. But I swear, the next time I have to do it alone, I get a wadded up mess.

Okay, so the fact that this bothers me, well, bothers me. I'm not a neat freak. Mostly, I'm a slob. But somehow, with some things, I am a neat freak. But apparently not quite enough to learn how to fold one of those stupid sheets.